‘Show Don’t Tell’ Rule

Show us the evidence, don’t Tell us to believe you.

The old ‘show don’t tell’ rule is one of the most important for good writing, and once you understand it you’ll find yourself cringing over old work that suddenly appears obvious and overstated (I know I did).

So, what is the Show versus Tell rule? Aren’t they one and the same?

No. Showing means you reveal an insight or idea to the reader through action and description, rather than stating it outright. For example, if we wanted to show that a character is angry we might say:

Action: Gary clenched his fists, eyes narrowed to a point.

Or via dialogue: “Too bad Mabel,” Gary growled. “You’re really going to get it this time!”

If we were to take the (cough) lazy way out, we could simply write: Gary was angry at Mabel. At times, it makes sense to keep the writing concise and jump straight to the point. But too much telling leads to flat, two-dimensional writing.

The Proof is in the Pudding

As a small experiment, I’ve written the same scene in two styles: Showing, versus Telling. Ask yourself which elicits a greater emotional response, allows you to connect more with the characters, and draws you deeper into their story?

Tell: Gary was angry, in fact he was furious. Mabel had set his dinner down late for the second night in a row. She was always forgetting him, tidying the house and folding the laundry, as if she didn’t care about him or his empty belly.

Show: Gary slammed his empty beer glass on the table, startling Mabel. She stood with spoon in hand, hovering over a bubbling broth. “I’m damn hungry,” he snapped, eyes flicking from the pot back up to her face. “I work a long day to come home, eat and sleep. Not starve.”

4 Principles of the ‘Show Don’t Tell’ Rule:

1. From 2D to 3D: When showing, you bring the characters to life, creating sounds and images in the reader’s mind. This keeps them from being 2D projections of “the angry man”, “the frightened woman” etc, and turns them into people that shout and clench and breathe, just like us.
2. Join the Dots: When we present nuanced action, description, and dialogue, we’re inviting the reader to study the evidence and draw their own conclusions. This forces them to engage more deeply with the story, versus zoning out.
3. Belief: You might tell us the character is angry, but why should we take your word for it? The point of good writing is to make the reader forget that the story in their hands has been carefully manipulated to elicit an emotional response. Who would you believe more – the narrator who shares a series of opinions, or direct evidence?
4. A Picture’s Worth 1,000 Words: A recent study showed that up to 70% of communication occurs via body language, with participants remembering a person’s facial expressions more than their actual words. At times we’ll want to share a direct account of a character’s thoughts and feelings–i.e. telling. But communicating to the reader through varied mediums (like body language) will add depth and subtext to your scenes.

Show Don’t Tell in Memoir

When writing memoir, it’s easy to slip into the trap of sharing a sort of synopsis of your life. I liken this to journal or biography writing. But it’s important to remember that even though memoir is a non-fiction genre, it’s narrative non-fiction, i.e. story-based. When we show more and tell less, we force ourselves to step out of journal mode, and into story mode. Here’s an example, in the context of a memoir.

Tell: I’ll never forget how my father used to take me fishing. He would sit and tell me I was the smartest little boy in the world, and when I landed a fish he was always so excited for me.

Show:“That’s it Toby, cast wide.” I tried to focus, pulling my arm back and releasing in a single fluid motion. The bait arced through air and fell close to the middle of the pond. “You’ll be playing for the Red Sox with a throw like that.” He tousled my hair with his big hand, fingers calloused from long days at the mill.

Do you have problems with showing, instead of telling in your writing? Use these tips to become more conscious of the times when you might be telling too much. And like all rules, this golden oldie is made to be broken. Sometimes it simply makes more sense to get right to the point and tell the reader via a direct statement. As long as you’re aware of what you’re doing, you’re writing will be sure to hit the emotional nerves it needs to.

Showing versus telling is one of the key elements you can address via the developmental editing process.

Send me a sample to find out more.